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"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." -- Steven Wright
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ManagementSpeak: We just upgraded to a new version of the software.
Translation: Not only does the software not work the way you expect it to, it doesn't work at all.
Okay, I admit it -- no manager said this. I just "upgraded" to some new software that doesn't work at all.
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ManagementSpeak: I've truly enjoyed working with you.
Translation: I'm going to enjoy not working with you even more.
I thoroughly enjoyed this week's translation and look forward to getting more from its anonymous source.
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ManagementSpeak: This isn't rocket science, you know.
Translation: I have no idea how complex this is or how long it should take to implement. So it must be easy, and you must be padding your estimate.
For KJR Club member Gary Rathbun, interpreting the manager is what was easy.
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ManagementSpeak: We'd like to introduce everyone to our new turnaround expert.
Translation: You should all turn around and get your resume up on every job board you can find.
A vote of thanks to this week's anonymous turn-of-phrase expert.
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ManagementSpeak: We're going to have to do more with less.
Translation: You're going to have to do more with less.
KJR Club member Conrad Macina achieved greatness with a very short phrase.
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ManagementSpeak: The primary purpose of this off-site is team building.
Translation: The primary purposes of this off-site are golf and drinking.
When it comes to interpreting what he hears, KJR Club member David Greusel sports a 3 handicap.
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ManagementSpeak: The managers here are much younger than you. Do you have a problem with that?
Translation: I have a problem with your age.
This week's anonymous contributor has a problem with the phrase.
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ManagementSpeak: When hiring, the first question I ask is "Can I trust this person?"
Translation: When hiring, the first question I ask is, "Does this person remind me of me?"
Even though he chose to remain anonymous, I'm sure we can trust this week's contributor.
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ManagementSpeak: That's a very insightful analysis.
Translation: It agrees perfectly with all of my biases.
Speaking of insightful analyses, this one, from an anonymous contributor, agrees perfectly with my bias toward accurate interpretation.
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