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Buddhist Monks Brawl At Sri Lanka Peace Protest.

No, that didn’t come from the Weekly World News (WWN). It really happened. Not to pick on Buddhists, but this really happened too: According to Newsweek, the Chinese government has passed a law making unauthorized reincarnation illegal in Tibet.

With real news like this it’s a wonder even the Onion can survive. Sad to say, even if WWN had maintained its magical work environment (“CIOs Learn Leadership Insights from Elvis,KJR, 8/13/2007) and the quality reportage of its heyday — stories like Saddam and Osama Adopt Shaved Ape Baby (part of its ongoing coverage of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden’s secret marriage) — it might not have survived reality’s onslaught.

For working IT managers, a more interesting question is how fun can survive reality’s onslaught. Reconciling it with leanness and meanness — the epitome of virtuous management in modern business — is an intriguing challenge.

Let’s imagine you work in an evidence-driven business — one where the executives who make strategic business decisions use data and logic to do so. In a company like this, how might you make a business case for fun? How, that is, would you go about tabulating the costs and benefits that would let you compute the internal rate of return on the company’s investment in it?

The starting point is the usual starting point: Defining fun. The dictionary definition — “what provides amusement or enjoyment,” isn’t bad, but to reassure your executives you’ll want to clarify that your goal isn’t to amuse your employees. It’s to create an enjoyable environment — one that isn’t grim. One in which, among other things, it’s okay for them to amuse each other.

The next question is benefit: What the business will get out of its investment in fun.

Recall that there are three categories of business benefit: Revenue enhancement, cost reduction, and risk management. Fun can contribute to all three of these.

Revenue enhancement is the biggest opportunity. Every time anyone has investigated the subject, customer satisfaction correlated more strongly with employee morale than with any other single factor in business. Even the most skeptical executive will agree that customer satisfaction translates to increased customer retention, increased walletshare, and an increased likelihood that satisfied customers will say good things about your company to their friends — all revenue enhancers.

It’s possible that someone might challenge the connection between a more enjoyable work environment and improved morale. If you encounter skepticism on this level … RUN!!! Your company has been taken over by Pod People!!!

Cost reduction is next. Fun’s contribution to cost reduction is harder to demonstrate in tangible terms, but it is no less real.

In some work environments the employees are zombified. Dull-eyed and uncaring, they go through the motions and the motions themselves take twice as long as they should. The math is easy: If every motion takes twice as long as it should, the amount of output each employee creates in a unit of time is half what it could be. Energized, motivated employees are the cure.

And that’s the smaller benefit. The larger: For most positions, replacing a departing employee costs about one year’s salary. Another factor: Not all employees contribute equally, and the best employees are the ones most able to find a better place to work.

Create an enjoyable work environment and the company will reduce unwanted turnover, especially among its best employees. That saves a lot of money.

And now, risk management: As every security professional knows, disaffected employees are the single greatest risk most companies face. Mathematically, the risk is the probability of one disaffected employee doing something nasty multiplied by the number of disaffected employees. Creating an enjoyable work environment reduces this number, lowering the overall risk.

Those are the most obvious business benefits. What will it cost to create those benefits?

Here’s one expense: If the company’s work environment is unpleasant, it’s because of the managers who place no value on employee morale. Replacing them won’t be cheap (a year’s salary each — remember?).

Other than that, fun is free. There’s no net cost from the time employees spend amusing each other. That simply replaces the time now lost to grumbling. Nor does fun require any capital investment. “All” that’s required is a change in attitude on the part of the company’s managers.

My bet: Most would welcome the opportunity. They just need permission.

That just might be the saddest statement in the history of Keep the Joint Running.

“Oh, &$@%#, not another &%^ing RFP!”
Requests for Proposal (RFPs) and runners have two shared characteristics. First, you see a lot of both of them. Second, nobody ever seems to actually enjoy either one. (To the runners I just offended: how come I never see you smiling?)
Clearly, we’ve become a nation of masochists.
But how else than an RFP to evaluate vendors and products? Form Follows Function. Your method of evaluation depends on the circumstances.
You generally face one of these three situations: (1) you fully understand your requirements and the market, and you need equivalent information from all suppliers; (2) you understand your business, have a general understanding that technology can improve it, and want open-ended suggestions on how different products can help improve or transform your organization; or (3) you need to choose a product from a well-defined category and need something that’s good enough. These situations call for different approaches.
When You Know Your Requirements
Here’s when you should write an RFP. Quite a few books (including my own Telecommunications for Every Business, Bonus Books, Chicago, 1992) provide detailed guidance. Three principles are worth mentioning here.
First, specify your design goals, not the means by which vendors should address them. For example, if you need a fault-tolerant database server, don’t say you need a system with redundant power supplies, backplanes, CPUs, and network interface cards. If you do you’ll get what you asked for (in this case, a system that frequently fails from software bugs). Instead, ask how the vendor ensures fault tolerance. Then you’ll learn one of the vendors provides mirrored servers with shared RAID storage for a lower overall cost and higher reliability.
Second, don’t withhold information. If you’re a Windows/95 shop, for example, don’t pretend to be open to other solutions. Just say so in your RFP. You’ll save both your vendors and yourself a lot of work.
And finally, if any vendor offers to “help you write your RFP” just laugh gently, compliment them on their sense of humor, and go onto the next vendor (who will make the same offer). Don’t take offense – they’re just doing their job. Don’t take them up on the offer, either.
Looking for Help
Sometimes, you don’t know all the questions. You know you want to phase out your nationwide SNA network, for example, but have an open mind regarding the best replacement strategy.
You can hire a consultant to help you write an RFP, I suppose … or, you can hold extensive conversations with a variety of vendors to learn what each has to offer. By doing so you’ll get a broader look at the market, and you’ll also get a wonderful education into the strengths (from each vendor) and weaknesses (from their competitors) of each approach currently selling.
In this example, you may find yourself talking to two frame relay vendors, a Transparent LAN Service provider, AT&T and Novell regarding their Netware Connect Services, and an independent systems integrator. You’ll benefit from an unstructured dialog in which each vendor can assess your situation in depth and describe a scenario of how their approach will work for your company.
When Good Enough Will Do
Let’s imagine you’ve been asked to select a new standard Ethernet network interface card (NIC). You could write an RFP or hold extensive conversations with sales reps, but why? Read a few reviews, ask a few basic questions, insist on a few evaluation units (to make sure they work and to learn about any installation glitches) and pick one. Flip a coin if you have to. It’s a low impact decision.
Oh yeah, just one more thing: very few of us make decisions based on logic. Salespeople know we make emotional decisions, then construct logical arguments to justify them. Don’t fall into this trap: recognize your emotional preference up front, figure out how much weight you should give it, and keep it from dominating your process.